Get Yourself a College Girl (1964) "Or a good book. Songwriting undergraduates from a girls' college find a music publisher at Sun Valley. Downhill all the way."
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966) "[A] rare achievement: a children's picture even the children think is a stiff."
The Giant Behemoth (1959) "Redundant, like the title."
The Giant Claw (1957) "There is this colossal bird that is mistaking people for worms, which causes colossal problems, one of which is the script."
The Giant Gila Monster (1959) "The title says it all."
Giant From the Unknown (1958) "In the mountains of Spain, a village gets the idea that the ghost of a giant conquistador is haunting them. Call it indigestion."
Gift of Love (1958) "Flat remake of 'Sentimental Journey,' which was a 3-Kleenex sudser about a dying wife and an adopted little girl. Don't fret. Momma's going to heaven."
Gimme Shelter (1970) "An oddly devastating film that follows the Rolling Stones during an American concert tour that culminates with an on-camera murder at the Altamont Rock Festival. It tells more than anyone could care to know about Mick Jagger, the Rolling Stones, rock mania, groupies, mass hysteria and the Hell's Angels as peace officers. Basically it has the fascination of a particularly messy head-on automobile collision."
The Girl From Petrovka (1974) "It plays like caviar washed down with Pepsi."
Girl Happy (1964) "Everybody's very healthy."
Girl in Room 13 (1961) "A private detective goes to Brazil searching for a girl wanted for murder. It doesn't help any that it actually filmed in Brazil. Bad is bad."
Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) "Quick, name one movie with an exclamation point in the title that was any good."
Glamour Boy (1941) "Former child star, now a soda jerk, coaches boy genius. Syrupticious."
Glory (1956) "Another horse, another Kentucky Derby, another yawn. Add a star if it's shown early enough for the kids. Margaret O'Brien (grown up), Walter Brennan (ageless)."
God's Little Acre (1958) "A salty screen version of the Erskine Caldwell novel that does not quite capture the earthy humor and lust of the book, despite a nice job as Ty Ty Walden by Robert Ryan. If you haven't heard, it's about a Georgia dirt farmer with a gold-digging obsession and some sexually precocious offspring. Try it, if only for old time's sake. Aldo Ray, Tina Louise, Fay Spain, Buddy Hackett, Jack Warden and Michael Landon doing an albino turn."
Godzilla (1956) "Raymond Burr is the reporter assigned to report on Mr. Zilla's present course, who continuously hops in and out of the sea causing devastation as he goes. Some funny spots."
[Alternate] "Japanese answer to King Kong with Raymond Burr spliced in for audiences this side of the Pacific. Neither Burr nor the monster is terribly convincing, to say nothing of the dubbing. Laugh along with Fuiuki Shinkichi and the entire population of Tokyo."
Godzilla vs. Megalon (1976) "Godzilla saves us once again. What is it with Godzilla?"
Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (1967) "Godzilla saves the lives of the people of Letchi who are enslaved by an evil people bent on world conquest. How does that grab you? Godzilla was more fun as a heavy. [With] Akira Takarada, Toru Watanabe, Godzilla, Mothra, Sea Monster."
Godzilla vs. the Thing (1974) "For kids who have nothing better to do."
The Golden Horde (1951) "In the 13th century, wide-eyed Ann Blyth saves the empire from wrack and ruin as David Farrar snaps his jaw muscles. That's about it."
Goodbye Columbus (1969) "A poor Jewish boy and a spoiled but sympathetic rich Jewish girl come together briefly amid 1950's sexual sensibilities in a sour salt romance based on a Philip Roth story. It's dated, but telling and sparked with appealing humor. The performers are perfect. Stay with it."
Good Times (1967) "Sonny and Cher anticipate their later TV success in this Hollywood parody and all-around spoof directed by William Friedkin, who also went on to bigger and better things. Give it a try."
Gorath (1965) “Space patrol ships, flaming meteors 600 times our mass, giant tidal waves and earthquakes, and those guys in the lab coats spreading the word of doom and gloom. You’ve seen it all before.”
The Gorgon (1964) “The stone monster is loose in a middle European village, but only when the moon is full. What is it with the full moon? Another epic by Hammer."
Gorilla at Large (1954) "A good cast, a fair idea and a bad job as murder stalks the carnival midway. If you don't guess the killer about halfway through, give up."
Grave of the Vampire (1972) "Pish-tish and a pox upon this pale tale of a son's strange memories of dear old dad."
Grease (1978) "Live-action comic strip view of high school life in 1958. Easy to like, easy to forget."
The Great Lover (1949) "Bob Hope gets involved with murder and the beautiful Rhonda Fleming aboard ship headed for Europe. A nice turn by Roland Young adds to the strangeness of it all, as does a Jack Benny walk on. Try it."
The Green Helmet (1961) "Will Bill Travers give up race car driving for the woman he loves? Will he win the big race? English and not bad, given the eternal questions."
The Green Slime (1969) "The asteroids are coming and you know what that means. No, not exactly little green men. It's more like... well..."
Guerillas in Pink Lace (1964) Four women and a man try to escape the Japanese in WW II. Root for the Japanese. George Montgomery directed himself in this film, which makes him a double loser."
Gunfighters of Casa Grande (1965) "The cows out act the boys."
Guns of the Timberland (1960) "Greedy loggers vs. ecology-minded townspeople in a routine fight to make Arbor Day meaningful."
Gypsy Colt (1954) "A horse and a small girl. What more do you need to know?"
Half a Sixpence (1969) "Flamboyant, colorful and pointless. Shortened for television, which is a blessing. Notable for a rare screen appearance by Cyril Ritchard."
Hammerhead (1968) "Next to the Bonded stuff, this distillation of spies and intrigue is moonshine. Brutal stuff to swallow."
Hannie Caulder (1972) "American/English oats involving Raquel Welch, who has been done wrong. She gets mean about it and everything gets marginally ludicrous."
The Happening (1967) "A maddeningly confused story involving four dropouts and a successful, middle-aged hoodlum they kidnap. It gets heavy, then light, then philosophical, then dumb."
Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1972) "Strangeness from Kurt Vonnegut Jr. that may read better than it plays. The plot can't be capsulized. No Vonnegut plot can. It's weird enough to try but not classic weird. And so it goes."
A Hard Day's Night (1964) "The first Beatles film and a winner. Under Richard Lester's direction, the four Liverpoolians [sic] romp and sing through a frenzied farce that nobody had done successfully since the Marx Brothers had retired. Wilfred Brambell as grandpa is just marvelous. It's all marvelous."
Harry Black and the Tiger (1958) "Stewart Granger has lost his courage, which is not good for a big game hunter. So he goes out to regain his courage, which is not good for the viewer."
Harum Scarum (1965) "At the first twist of Elvis' hip, tune in to a midnight snack."
Head (1968) "Michael Nesmith, Peter Tork, David Jones and Mickey Dolenz--alias The Monkees. That's about it. But catch those screenplay credits."
Hell Canyon Outlaws (1957) "Law and order wins in a western town and leaves you with a nagging question. Why is the good guy always the fastest draw?"
Hell on Devil's Island (1957) "It certainly is."
Hell's Angels on Wheels (1970) "Bikers and other balderdash on the road. Mean, pointless and dumb. [With] Jack Nicholson trying to keep a straight face."
Hell's Highway (1932) "The first of the chain-gang movies and not the best."
Hell's Island (1955) "An ex-district attorney gets involved with a stolen gem and murder. This is Hollywood's version of an ex-district attorney. Real ex-district attorneys go into corporate law or politics, either of which must be more exciting than this."
Hercules and the Black Pirate (1960) "The title tells it all, and much quicker."
Hercules of the Desert (1964) "Sex, sand, well-oiled muscles and a hernia of a story. Forget it."
Here Come the Co-eds (1945) Bud Abbott and Lou Costello team up with Lon Chaney to create confusion at a staid girls' school. More zanies: Peggy Ryan, Donald Cook, Charles Dingle, Joe Kirk, June Vincent, Bill Stern."
High-ballin' (1978) "Peter Fonda, Jerry Reed and Helen Shaver spinning their wheels and grinding their gears in a record run (two months) from theater to TV."
High Barbaree (1947) "In a life raft somewhere in the South Pacific, one downed flyer talks the ear off another downed flyer while waiting to be rescued. You're spared the monologue through flashbacks. It's still a drag."
Higher and Higher (1943) "Notable as Frank Sinatra's first starring role... it requires no thinking at all."
High Hell (1958) "A French-made psychodrama set in a mountain mining camp where there is a lot of acting out concerning women, gold and other hangups. Heavy."
Hitler (1962) "A Freudian look at the Nazi dictator and his women. Martin Kosleck, the quintessential Nazi, is along for laughs."
Hold Back the Night (1956) "It's all about war and this unopened bottle of scotch and if you've got your own bottle, open it."
Hold That Hypnotist (1957) "The Bowery Boys are regressed to the 17th century, where, with any luck at all, they will stay."
Hong Kong (1951) "Stolen gems, murder and a great insight into why Ronald Reagan quit making movies. Rhonda Fleming is pretty."
Hoodlum Priest (1961) "The last scenes will make you think twice about capital punishment."
Hook, Line and Sinker (1969) "A wrong diagnosis, an attempt to collect insurance on a man who isn't dead, a mixup in bodies, some tasteless racial jokes and a doublecross add up to something less than the total of its parts. The best joke is Jerry Lewis' assumed name."
The Horrible Dr. Hitchcock (1964) "A surgeon fiddles around with his wife and she disappears. So he gets another wife. Horrible is not quite the word, but it will do."
Horror Island (1941) "On an island off the coast there is believed to be some buried treasure. There is very definitely a murderer there. The search and the murders are on. Yawn."
Horror of Party Beach (1964) "The seaweed is coming! You have been warned."
Hostile Guns (1967) "Aren't they all."
Hot Blood (1956) "Jane Russell and Cornel Wilde are a couple of young gypsies and Luther Adler is an old gypsy. Laugh along with them, but watch your wallet."
House of Black Death (1965) "A sinister old house, black magic, Lon Chaney Jr., and John Carradine. Not the best, not the worst."
House of Dracula (1945) "This was the end of the road for everybody--Frankenstein's monster (Glenn Strange), Dracula (John Carradine) and the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney). The mad Dr. Franz Edelman (Onslow Stevens) does them all in, including a long overdue lycanthropy cure for nice Larry Talbot. And so it goes."
House of Horrors (1946) "Fans of 'The Creeper' (Rondo Hatton) can add a star."
House of Seven Corpses (1972) "...John Ireland, Faith Domergue and John Carradine earning their money the hard way."
How To Stuff a Wild Bikini (1965) "The title makes no sense at all. Neither does the pelican."
Hudson's Bay (1940) "A banished Englishman and two French trappers found the Hudson Bay Company in what seems like slow motion."
Human Duplicators (1965) "Super beings create super robots in way-out earth takeover super plot. Superific."
Humanoids from the Deep (1980) "Would you believe these monsters have the hots for women?"
Hunted Men (1938) "A gangster finds out about the nicer things in life, but it's too late. Now that you know, forget it."
Hurricane Smith (1952) "Another fugitive makes his mark on a South Sea island and the passionate Yvonne DeCarlo, which is about par for this sort of thing."
I Aim at the Stars (1960) "If you can get by the fact that the film glosses over the Nazi years, then this fictionalized story of Wernher von Braun is interesting."
An Ideal Husband (1948) "Marriage, manners, and very British. Oscar Wilde deserves better."
I Killed Rasputin (1967) "Being the personal story of Felix Youssoupoff, who, indeed, did in the Russian monk. So much for history."
I'll See You in My Dreams (1952) "Danny Thomas and Doris Day sing a lot more than your average couple."
I'll Take Sweden (1965) "Sweden takes a beating."
The Impossible Years (1968) "A tasteless, sophomoric Hollywood version of what has come to be known as the generation gap. Impossible is the word."
The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964) "A fish story about a meek bookkeeper-turned-fish who has a swimming good time becoming a World War II hero by guiding submarine chasers against enemy U-boats. Wrapped in yesterday's newspaper."
The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) "Some buffs consider this one a winner, others think it's funny. It's definitely funny." [Now here's a more favorable version from a later issue, presumably after Cashman had actually seen the movie] "After being caught in a strange glowing fog, a man discovers to his horror that he is slowly shrinking. His incredible plight is given credibility by a believable script and some fantastic photographic sleight-of-hand. Worthwhile."
Inn of the Sixth Happiness (1958) "The fine English actor, Robert Donat, made his last appearance here in the role of the Mandarin."
In Old Chicago (1938) "The O'Leary family--mom, the boys and a cow. A rouser with a big finish. If you're over 45, add a star [making four]. Alice Brady (Mama O'Leary) won an Oscar."
In Search of Noah's Ark (1976) "The easily impressed might buy it."
Invaders From Mars (1953) "It's the army and a small boy against some 8 foot monsters. Bring back the little green men."
Invasion of the Animal People (1962) "The giants with the alien brains are coming. Hide your television set."
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) "Giant pea-pods arrive from somewhere and try to take over. In sci-fi circles one of the great ones. Sam Peckinpah has a bit as the girl's father."
Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957) "Finally. The beings arrive from outer space and they are actually Little Green Men. That said, it's downhill. A spoof of science fiction films that is not as funny as some of the films it spoofs." (A later review: "Teenagers outwit little green men, which is disappointing because you'll be rooting for the aliens.")
The Invincible Six (1970) "An update of 'The Magnificent Seven,' which was an update of 'Seven Samurai.' One update too many."
Island of Living Horror (1968) "Atomic dust creates a mutation or two, one of whom apparently turned to scriptwriting."
Island of Terror (1967) "Giant monsters eat human bones and blood, which shouldn't turn you off . Of this type, not bad at all."
It Came From Beneath the Sea (1955) "An H-bomb stirs up a giant octopus from the bottom of the sea and an atomic submarine tangles with it. It's no contest, but hold off on any bets."
It Came From Outer Space (1953) "Arriving on the 1:15 meteor, faceless things bug a scientist. Production good. Premise good. The rest, not so good."
It's a Gift (1934) "And who, pray tell, is Carl LaFong?"
It's in the Bag (1945) "Fred Allen fans can add a star."
I've Always Loved You (1946) "A lavish and sincere story of a brilliant pianist and the symphony conductor who loves her. Three and a half handkerchiefs, at least. If that's your meat, don't miss it. [With] one of the all-time greats, Maria Ouspenskaya."
I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1951) "Mad doctor and a confused teenager. Michael Landon is behind the fangs and hair. Larry Talbot should sue."
J.W. Coop (1972) "The best of the Ned Bronk stories."
Jack of Diamonds (1967) "George Hamilton plays a cat burglar and has trouble dimming his teeth while padding around in the dark. Maurice Evans adds some class, but not enough."
Jackson County Jail (1976) "Very commercial sleaze."
Jaguar (1955) "A Republic quickie about oil prospecting, murder and retribution. For those who will watch anything that moves. Sabu, Barton MacLaine, Chiquita, Touch (later Mike) Connors."
The Jazz Singer (1927) "The first talkie, despite all the subtitles, and a landmark in motion picture history. Al Jolson sings 'Mammy,' 'Blue Skies,' and 'Toot, Toot, Tootsie,' among others in this frightfully sentimental story of a Rabbi's son gone to jazz. But the screen talked and the silent movie was dead."
Jesse James (1939) "In this one, Jesse is a good kid who is driven to nasty things by the establishment. Frank just seems to tag along. The myth never lets facts stand in the way. Still, it's a rouser and the acting is good. Henry Hull is marvelous, always wanting to shoot somebody down like a dog. There is also the dirty little coward who..."
Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter (1966) "With a title like that, what more do you need to know? John Lupton and the unforgettable Narda Onyx."
Jesus (1979) "Without being compelling, it touches all the basic points."
Joe Kidd (1972) “Some heavy talent is wasted in this marginal bomb about
the rights and wrongs in old New Mexico. Next to Clint Eastwood, everybody else
looks like they’re overacting.”
John and Mary (1969) "A new kind of now reverse romance in which bedding leads to caring rather than the other way around. There is truth here, but it's buried neatly under a lot of arch conversation and posing. Dustin Hoffman is good. Mia Farrow, passable. Try it."
Johnny Dark (1954) "Not to be confused with Johnny Eager, Johnny Apollo, Johnny Concho, Johnny Guitar, Johnny Angel, Johnny Trouble, Johnny Rocco, Johnny Nobody or Johnny Belinda. This one's about a race car designer who steals his own idea to win the big race and the girl."
[He missed the previous entry, Johnny Cool!]
Journey to the Center of Time (1967) "A group of time travelers face insurmountable odds on earth past and future. Have another cup of coffee, you'll need it."
Jungle Jim in the Forbidden Land (1952) "Tarzan puts on clothes and says, 'Me, Jungle Jim.' And with his faithful chimpanzee renamed Timba, he cavorts around a backlot paper jungle."
Jungle Man Eaters (1954) "Jungle Jim thrashes around after diamond smugglers in an empty lot somewhere in Burbank."
Jungle Moon Men (1955) "Jungle Jim comes across some pygmies. Forget it."
Kansas City Bomber (1972) "That would be Raquel Welch and/or the film, which is about rollerderby, if you care, and you won't."
Key Largo (1948)
Khartoum (1966) "Gen. Charles Gordon tries to defend Khartoum against the Arabs and fails. Charlton Heston is surprisingly good as Gordon, English accent and all. But Laurence Olivier as the fanatical Arab leader, the Mahdi, takes the acting honors. Watch his eyes, they never blink. Good production, filmed on location."
Kid Rodelo (1966) "The American West as viewed from Spain with hard types, good and bad, fighting for gold and Janet Leigh. Don Murray and Broderick Crawford are wasted, but they got paid for it. You won't."
Kid Millions (1934) "A wild and still entertaining mad Sam Goldwyn production that has Eddie Cantor inheriting $77 million and a host of Goldwyn girls, including Lucille Ball. Plus, one sequence shot in early Technicolor."
Killer Ape (1953) "Him Jungle Jim. You change channel."
The Killer Shrews (1959) "Would you believe--oh, the hell with it."
Killers Three (1968) "Murder and other moonshine from the Dick Clark school of the quick buck. Robert Walker, Diane Varsi and a country boy named Merle Haggard."
King of the Jungle (1933) "Only in America, as they say, captured jungle boy is exploited in circus animal act. All that swings is swung."
King of the Roaring Twenties (1961) "Supposedly the story of gambler Arnold Rothstein, don't bet on it. David Janssen is so cool in the title role he seems to stop breathing at times."
King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "The historical and non-historical characters are so much cardboard, but it's mostly for fun and, besides, the Christians and Moslems really go at each other. Rex Harrison and George Sanders are properly animated, which makes Laurence Harvey appear all the more inanimate. Virginia Mayo is pretty."
The King's Pirate (1967) "An American colonial takes on the deadly pirates of Diego Suarez. The results are as deadly as Diego."
The Kissing Bandit (1949) "If you can laugh at Frank Sinatra trying to replace his father as the hero of the title, you might find this moderately amusing. If you can't, you will suffer much."
Kiss Me Deadly (1955) "Did anyone ever take Mickey Spillane seriously?"
Kiss of Evil (1963) "A honeymooning couple somehow lands in a Bavarian castle. That out of the way, it gets gruesome. Formerly titled 'Kiss of the Vampire,' which gives it away."
Kiss the Blood Off My Hands (1948) "One of the all-time great bad titles. It is almost matched by what follows, which is about Burt Lancaster on the lam after he kills a man in a fight, and Joan Fontaine, who also kills somebody, and how they meet and love and wash each others' hands in public."
Lad--A Dog (1962) From that you don't get heavy drama, but the kids and dog freaks will love it as old Lad brings happiness and love to a crippled little girl."
Lady Liberty (1971) "A large Italian sausage that is not as funny as Carlo Ponti thought it was."
The Lady From Texas (1951) "Josephine Hull does her pixilated best to inject some life into this story of an eccentric old lady on the verge of being sent to a cookie farm."
The Lady Vanishes (1938) "An elderly lady seems to disappear aboard a train in what is one of the best things Alfred Hitchcock has ever done. Just perfect. And that nun, isn't she wearing...?
Lafayette Escadrille (1958) "A group of American volunteers fly for France in World War I. William Wellman has made some great films on this general theme, but this is not one of them, probably because of Tab Hunter, who is a non-fattening actor."
The Land Unknown (1957) "A U.S. Navy expedition is struck by a storm and forced several thousand feet below sea level where it's hot as hell. But it isn't. Then again, it might be. Hell, that is."
The Last Bandit (1949) "From out of the Republic mill comes Wild Bill Elliot trying to go straight. He makes it."
The Last Picture Show (1971)
The Last Rebel (1965) "The leader of a Mexican gang ends his life in a gunfight with a Texas Ranger. The End."
The Last Rebel (1971) "In the days following the Civil War, Joe Namath, a fine quarterback, drops back and almost connects with a long bomb."
The Last Voyage (1960) "As shipsinking epics go, this one is a dilly because they shot the movie on an old passenger liner to get the footage. Unfortunately, the story is nothing to write home about, what with standard situations and cliche characterizations. Still, it plays, thanks to a great performance by the ship."
Legend of the Lost (1957) "Everybody and everything is lost. You get lost."
*Le Mans (1971) "The human side of the 24-hour endurance race of the title you can put in your eye. The varoom of the Porsches, Ferraris and other racing cars is something else. Add two stars [making four] if watching them go around and around (and crash) from various angles gives you hot flashes."
Let's Dance (1950) "Too much plot, not enough music. Fred Astaire is Fred Astaire. Betty Hutton overacts, even for her."
Lisa and the Devil (1973) "For those who wonder what Telly Savalas was doing while waiting for 'Kojak' to come along."
List of Adrian Messenger (1963) "There is the added game of trying to spot the stars behind the heavy makeup in several bit parts. You'll spot Robert Mitchum right away, but not Tony Curtis, Frank Sinatra and Burt Lancaster."
The Lively Set (1964) "From campus to pit stop at the big sports car race. Healthy young persons and nothing to write home about."
The Lone Gun (1954) "[With] George Montgomery before he sold furniture polish on TV."
Look in Any Window (1961) "Or in any ash can."
Looking for Danger (1957) "And a script. The Bowery Boys with a new/old face."
The Looney Looney Looney Bugs Bunny Movie (1980) "Add a star if you can't get enough of Bugs, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig and the rest of the gang, or if you're under eight, or smoke funny cigarettes."
Lord Love a Duck (1966) "George Axelrod, a funny writer, is not a funny director."
Los Tarantos (1964) "Romeo and Juliet done Barcelona/Gypsy style, with much heel stomping. Passable, but noisy."
The Lost Patrol (1934) "An early John Ford effort involving a patrol of British soldiers surrounded by Arabs in the middle of a desert and just grand. Victor Mclaglen is beautifully tough. The water scene is a goodie. But Boris Karloff all but steals the picture by going marvelously balmy [sic]. Stay with it."
Lost World of Sinbad (1965) "A shipwrecked pirate and the neighborhood wizard join forces to prove not every Toshiro Mifune movie is a winner."
Love Happy (1950) "The Marx Brothers are here, playing private eyes (at least two of them are), but it's not really a Marx Brothers movie. It looks as though it was pasted together. Marilyn Monroe walks through. Strange movie."
Love Has Many Faces (1965) "Can Lana Turner find happiness despite her millions and the grubby men she meets? Probably. Filmed in Acapulco and featuring about 173 dress changes for la belle Turner."
Love in the Afternoon (1957) "A young girl's infatuation with a rich man of the world sets up this engaging, charming story. Maurice Chevalier as the girl's private detective father is marvelous. So is John McGiver as a cuckolded husband. Audrey Hepburn is properly disarming and virginal. The only jarring note is Gary Cooper, who seems much too old for the part he plays."
*Lover Come Back (1962) "It could have been called 'Son of Pillow Talk.' Same stars, same situations, same laughs. And, strangely enough, just as good."
Lovers and Other Strangers (1970) "Family and love life from four intertwining angles that run from hysterically funny near truth to mildly amusing slapstick. It's poignant and it's painfully real in spots, but frantically ragged in others. Stay with it, if only to hear Richard Castellano litanize: 'So, what's the story, Richie?
The Loves of Carmen (1948) "Rita Hayworth you can believe as Carmen, who has a way with the men. But Glenn Ford nobody can believe as Don Jose, not even, apparently, Glenn Ford. Still, there are moments."
The Loves of Salambo (1962) "Mercenaries ride on Carthage. Ever feel plain lousy?"
Loving You (1957) "Catch Lizabeth Scott's speech near the end. You won't believe it."
Lucky Me (1954) "An ambitious showgirl gets stranded in Florida. Some fun and games follow. It's light and mindless. [With] the first appearance of Angie Dickinson."
The Lucky Texan (double feature with The Man from Utah, both 1934) "Two lone-star quickies that kept John Wayne off the welfare rolls during the Depression."
M (1931) "Fritz Lang's German classic about a psychopathic child murderer that is brilliant in mood and execution and flawlessly performed by Peter Lorre in his first film. Lang invents touches in this film that are still used by filmmakers to good effect, most notably the music theme for Lorre and the rolling ball as witness to murder."
Machine Gun Kelly (1958) "Another in the cheapy, quickie school of great gangsters we have known. Charles Bronson will blast his way into your heart and other vital organs. Anyway, it's loud."
"Mad Dog" Coll (1961) "The life and death of a nasty man. Throw him a bone."
Madison Avenue (1962) "A no-good ruthless rat makes it in the dog-eat-dog world of advertising. So what else is new?"
The Magic Box (1951) "Robert Donat is brilliant as usual in this story of William Friese-Green, the English photographer who invented and developed a moving picture machine, only to be shunted aside in favor of an American and French inventors who made similar discoveries. A fine show with an added attraction as top British stars keep popping up in bit roles, like that London Bobby Donat pulls in off the street to see his invention."
The Magnificent Cuckold (1965) "For those who find marital infidelity amusing even if it's done with questionable taste. Claudia Cardinale is a healthy woman."
The Maltese Falcon (1941) "...a staggering bit by somebody's father."
(See Casablanca for full review and Gary Viskupic illustration, but here's a TV Line from the February 23rd, 1975 edition of the Newsday TV Book, with a question--last one at lower right--about that line from the review, and the answer straight from John Cashman...)
The Man I Love (1947) "Ida Lupino as a throaty singer who carries on through death and love with a stiff upper tonsil. What used to be called a woman's picture."
Man Made Monster (1941) "Tremendous power charges turn a simple carnival worker into a raging mindless monster who feeds on electricity. Pays "ohmage" to the power shortage and why kids are taught to stay away from outlets, if nothing else."
The Man Who Turned to Stone (1957) "Some 18th century genetic claptrap to snooze by."
Man With the X-ray Eyes (1963) "No, not Superman. It's Ray milland with eyeballs that light up in the dark. Unfortunately, you can see everything coming."
Mara Maru (1952) "Errol Flynn in his he-man role, this time as an ex-Naval officer who leads a mobster to sunken treasure... only because he wants it himself. He also wants Ruth Roman. He doesn't want Raymond Burr."
March of the Wooden Soldiers (1934) "The now-classic version of Victor Herbert's "Babes in Toyland" that is inventive, charming and fun. And it has Laurel and Hardy at their best. The film is becoming as much a part of Thanksgiving weekend as the turkey."
Marco Polo (1962) "Tongue-in-cheek history as Marco (Rory Calhoun) romps off to Cathy to discover spaghetti. The sauce is bad."
Marines, Let's Go (1961) "Let's not. Four Marines on leave from the Korean War on a romp around Tokyo isn't worth it."
The Mark (1961) "Given the premise (the reclamation of a child molester), this film had to be very good or very bad. Thanks to director Guy Green and three excellent actors (Stuart Whitman, Rod Steiger and Maria Schell) it is very good. Don't miss it."
Marked For Murder (1945) "Lots of bullets and horses."
Mark of the Phoenix (1957) "A jewel thief, a few commies and an atomic secret. British and bad."
The Marriage of a Young Stockbroker (1971) "A basically flat sex and culture stew that simmers endlessly. For Richard Benjamin fans only."
Maryjane (1968) "A group of suburban high school students plant marijuana on their teacher. Sure."
Massacre at Fort Perdition (1960) "The lone survivor of an Indian massacre is suspected of all sorts of things. Perdition is the word. Starring those old favorites, Jerry Cobb, Martha May and Hugh Pepper."
Master of the World (1961) "Vincent Price as the oddball skipper of an equally weird zeppelin flying around the 19th Century may sound like another bad translation of Jules Verne, but it's not. With Price holding down his natural tendency to ham it up, it comes off as good, thoughtful fun. Stay with it."
McHale's Navy (1964) "A feature-length version of the half-hour television series, which makes it about four times as long as it should have been."
Melody of Hate (1962) "Two sisters, talented pianists, fall in love with a conductor, which ruins a few lives and five reels of film."
Message From Space (1978) "Go back. Go back."
Midnight Cowboy (1969)
Midnight Lace (1960) "Doris Day, after being married to Rex Harrison for a short time, begins to get threatening phone calls, which makes for a Hitchcock-type thriller for about two-thirds of the film. Unfortunately, there's the last third of the film. And shame on anyone who can't figure out who is doing what to whom."
The Millionairess (1961) "Give it a try if nothing else is on."
Million Dollar Legs (1939) "No, not those holding up Betty Grable. These belong to a horse."
The Miracle of the Bells (1948) "For those who believe in miracles, including Frank Sinatra as a priest."
Miss Annie Rooney (1942) "In which Shirley Temple gets her first screen kiss, a chaste effort from Dickie Moore. It's about young love across the railroad tracks, with kind, old Guy Kibbee around to make sure it remains pure and wholesome."
The Missouri Breaks (1976) "Arthur Penn's weird western that plays like two movies shuffled into one. First there is Jack Nicholson in a satirical rancher-rustler myth. Then there is Marlon Brando as the kinkiest gunman-for-hire i the annals of the western. He is very funny, very mean and very fat. Worth a try for the two stars, but the story is something else."
Mister Buddwing (1966) "A victim of amnesia borrows a name from a billboard and sets out to find his own. The script may have been borrowed from a series of billboards."
Modesty Blaise (1966) "It is rich in everything but sense."
Mohawk (1956) "The only difference between this western and any others is Rita Gam."
The Mole People (1956) "Archaeologists, without whom sleeping creatures would lie, are digging around in Asia and they find an underground race that can't stand the light of day. Neither can the film."
Monster From a Prehistoric Planet (1967) "A baby Gappa, a prehistoric creature worshiped by natives, is brought to japan. You know the rest."
Monster From the Ocean Floor (1954) "A small submarine mucks about in deep water and stirs up trouble that should be avoided at all costs."
Monster on Campus (1958) "A professor juices up on some ancient fish blood and goes completely guppy. So do a dog and a dragonfly. Honest."
Monster Zero (1966) "Godzilla, Rodan and Nick Adams do the Japanese monster bit on Planet X. The title makes no sense at all. Neither does the film."
The Moon is Blue (1953) "Interesting now as an example of what was considered saucy in those days. It is to laugh."
Morituri (1965)
Most Dangerous Man Alive (1961) "A cobalt explosion is turning a man's body to steel. It has a hollow ring."
Mothra (1962) “When two foot-high girls with magical powers are kidnapped, a giant insect larva hatches and flies off to Tokyo for revenge. It may have made more sense in Japanese."
Move (1970) "One of several movies that helped send Elliot Gould into eclipse. Herein he's a failed writer gone to porn and dog walking. Has he ever."
Mr. Majestyk (1974) "Watermelons even get shot in this one."
The Mummy's Curse (1945) "Peter Coe minds Lon Chaney Jr. this time out, but the fun is beginning to wear thin."
Murder by Proxy (1965) "Fear stalks a small Midwestern town as murder strikes twice without cause. If possible, view by proxy."
Mutiny (1952) "Comic book characters fight the war of 1812. It's a wonder we won."
Mutiny at Fort Sharp (1965) The Indians attack a Confederate fort and a colonel goes skippyville. A bummer."
My Favorite Brunette (1947) "Another Bob Hope bit of madness, once again involving Dorothy Lamour. The story doesn't make any sense, but that's the point. Peter Lorre, Lon Chaney."
The Mysterians (1958) "[With] Kenji Sahara, Yumi Shirakawa, Momoko Kochi and other old favorites."
Mysterious Desperado (1949) "Not so mysterious. A young man inherits property; somebody's got their eye on it; a frameup follows." That's about it."
Mystery of Thug Island (1966) "The Thuggies are acting up, what with kidnaping and all, and here comes Guy Madison to the rescue. Where is Abner Biberman now that we need him?"
The Naked Edge (1961) "This was Gary Cooper's last film."
The Naked Runner (1967) "A dull potboiler based on a preposterous premise that involves an overly complicated murder of a defector. More easily grasped is Frank Sinatra and other cast members being slowly beaten to death by the script."
The Navy vs. the Night Monsters (1966) "A laugher."
Necromancy (1972) "A movie about calling back the dead. It died. Don't call it back."
Never Let Me Go (1953) "Newspaperman Clark Gable has some problems smuggling his wife (Gene Tierney) out of Russia. Those newspaper guys sure get around."
Never Say Goodbye (1946) "A film to meditate by."
Never Steal Anything Small (1959) "The boss of a small union local (James Cagney) wants to take over the entire waterfront in this mishmash of fun, drama and song that is more than pleasant, but less than satisfying. Cagney, aging well, is the most pleasurable aspect of the film. Try it, if only for him."
The Night Digger (1971) "If you can buy Patricia Neal's motivation, you'll buy the problems a lonely woman will endure to keep a man around, even a psychotic one. Scripted by Neal's husband, Roald Dahl. Try it."
Nightmare Alley (1947) "If you don't know what a geek is, watch this one."
Night of the Living Dead (1968) "An underground cult flick about strange happenings that turn human persons into flesh-eating zombies. It's not as good as the cultists claim, but it is not bad for Pittsburgh. The ending is heavy, but what does it mean? Stay with it."
Nightmare Castle (1966) "Maybe it made more sense in Italian."
The Night They Raided Minsky's (1968) "An affectionate, fast-paced and funny bit of apocrypha wherein an innocent Amish girl invents the striptease. An evocative, rather than provocative, remembrance of things burlesque."
Night Tide (1963) "Arty, but interesting story of a sailor who meets a girl who thinks she's a mermaid. It doesn't quite make it. Neither does she."
No Diamonds For Ursula (1967) "No anything for viewers."
North by Northwest (1959) "A gem from Alfred Hitchcock that stars Cary Grant, James Mason, Eva Marie Saint, Mount Rushmore, the United Nations building and a novel way to knock somebody off if you can get him on flat, open farmland."
Northern Pursuit (1943) "Helmut Dantine does his patented Nazi officer."
No Survivors Please (1964) "This tale of creatures from another planet was never released in American theaters. Tune in and find out why."
Nothing Personal (1980) "Nothing period."
No Way to Treat a Lady (1968) "Rod Steiger has a field day as a weirdo murderer who uses disguises and telephone calls to twit detective George Segal. Both of them, it turns out, have problems with their mothers. It's Steiger's show and he's marvelous. He gets to act seven roles, which leaves him one short of Alec Guinness.”
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