Pre-introduction Update.

[First and foremost: PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE DATES OF THE POSTS! I edit them regularly!]
Latest Update: Reviews, other stuff added 2/21/24 (all reviews added this year are noted with asterisks); Cool "Cashman mugshot" ad from 1975 added to intro 7/10/24

As always, it's been a while since the last updating, so I hope to get some more "new" John Cashman reviews on here soon, plus additions to the various side lists. If this is your first visit to NTVBR, the particulars of my strange obsession follow after this post (which is really just a collection of the last few updates).

I've been sprinkling in some TV Book close-ups pairing interesting Cashman reviews with the fantastical art of Gary A. Viskupic, one of the regular illustrators for these guides. (For example, I've added a Viskupic illustration to the Casablanca review, plus there's a scan of the Feb. 23rd, 1975 TV Line with the review for The Maltese Falcon, featuring a pertinent question.) I suggest that at some point you check out this post (and then this one... and then this one) from my regular blog for a look at Viskupic's skewed visions.

I changed the template not realizing it would significantly alter my sidebar menu. So rather than mess with links, the whole dang thing is on this one page now, and more needs to be edited to make more sense. Consider it a WIP and accept it for what it is...

But I've saved the biggest news of all for last: I had a correspondence with one of Cashman's children and it's taken me a mere four years to get some of the info she related to me included here in the introduction! (My news breaks like a hydroelectric dam. Slowly, over much time.)  Enjoy!

Introduction.

(1975 Newsday ad, found May 2024)

I own a collection of 1970's and 80's TV Books from the Long Island (New York) newspaper Newsday. They're as rare as hen's teeth these days--I should know, I collect those too--but one of the reasons I make the effort is the reviews. I never knew who wrote them (if indeed it was the work of one bleary-eyed night owl, which I always liked to imagine it was), but they often had a wickedly smart-ass tone that cracked me up.

One day as I perused the March 27, 1977 edition, I noticed that the Academy Award ballot for the Oscars that week has selections made by "TV Book movie reviewer John Cashman."


Unfortunately, internet searches on this lead turned up little. I found an obituary for one of his daughters, who died in 2001. It seems to refer to him in the past tense, and says father and daughter both worked on the TV books.

In April 2007, I got my hands on almost three years' worth of early 70's TV Books, expanding my collection from thirty-one to 175 (big thanks to Mike T. of Oceanside and Craigslist). Serendipitiously, I discovered the answers to my questions.

First, in the TV Line Q&A column of the March 25th, 1973 issue, I found this:

Q. I am a middle aged housewife who has never written to a newspaper or magazine before, but I am being forced by my family to do so. The best part of your whole newspaper is the movie reviews in the TV section. We are constantly reading them to each other. Some are the best comedy writing I have ever read. We would love to know who writes them, and also see a picture of him. Please tell us something about him. Please thank him for the fun and laughs he brings to our home each week.---C.K., Dix Hills.

A. Though the Phantom Reviewer thanks you for your kind words, he continues to refuse to reveal his identity. But we conspired with the Newsday art department to get a rendering of the Phantom for you. One of the artists sneaked a peek at him the other day while he was asleep at his desk (he'd watched movies all night) and he awoke and, well, see above.
Continuing to search through the books, the December 8th, 1974 issue at last answered the big question, which was evidently still being asked by readers:

The Phantom Reviewer has finally decided to throw off the cloak of anonymity and reveal himself as the flesh and blood author of the wit and wisdom that has given readers so much pleasure. He is Newsday staffer John Cashman. Formerly day Nassau editor, John spent last year in California on a Stanford University fellowship and is now an Ideas writer, kibitzer and all-around pussycat. John, who was previously a columnist and has authored two books, is married and the father of four children. He has been going to the movies seriously for more than 35 years and has, thus far, written more than 4,000 movie reviews for the TV Book.
So that answered who he was, but not what became of him.

A while back, I received a few emails from one of his daughters. Our correspondence began in the comments section right here. Contrary to my belief that he must have been a night-owl (which he may very well have been at some point), she recalls him rising at four every morning to write notes. He was "quite an intellectual" who tended to be strict and introverted. He disliked any conversation during a movie (well, duh).

He won a Stanford fellowship in 1973.

This photo, with Cashman highlighted at upper right (and wearing the same shirt as the TV Line pic), is from a website for the John S. Knight Journalism Fellowship there. His daughter recalled that he belonged to the New York Film Critic Circle and took her to premieres and such. He was nominated for a Pulitzer in 1964 (for a piece called "Negroes Without Schools" which I cannot find anywhere online), and had considered collecting his reviews into a book. Later, he owned a bookstore of first editions and taught in Glen Cove. "If you want to know what happiness is, you're looking at it," he once told her during this part of his life. He died in 1985. She told me she was proud of him, and tickled that his work was living on. (Of course, it's my pleasure, but that is gratifying to hear.)

In any case, it was always Cashman's droll reviews that inspired my tribute. They're often clever and funny, but more importantly for the format, they're brutally succinct. Sometimes there's a damning-with-faint-praise quality to them, as with this one of 1944's The Purple Heart: "Dated and embarrassing, but not bad of that ilk." Some reviews are damning with their ambivalence, such as the "Not good, not bad" earned by 1941's Honkytonk. I have so far found over forty films he described as "sitthroughable," the word he coined for movies just barely worth your while. He also delighted in consistently pointing out the prettiness of Rhonda Fleming, and the not-prettiness of Vera Hruba Ralston. I've also found about a dozen separate references to Alan Ladd taking off his shirt, but that's a topic to ponder another time.

Another reason I love reading these reviews is that they recall an era when you never knew what treasure you might find among the meager offerings on your handful of channels. Many of the movies I've listed here probably haven't seen the light of the little screen in years, except perhaps on Turner Classic Movies, or mutilated and mired in commercials on AMC. Happily, some live on as experiments of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," and I acquired one, Creature From the Haunted Sea, in a DVD set of 50 horror movies, along with many other public domain-type cinematic ephemera. (To quote a familiar Cashman line, it's even worse than it sounds.)

Cashman sometimes throws in obscure names or leaves you hanging with trivia that you would then have to see the film to figure out. (Of course, these days you can just look up South Sea Sinner on IMDb to see just who that piano player is, or Google "Abner Biberman"...)

Abner Biberman.

Although I normally limit my childhood nostalgia collection to items from the years 1974-1983, I did purchase a Newsday TV guide from 1984 a while back. It strangely summed up why my fond recollections end around autumn '83. Well, certainly there's my entrance into public high school, an unceremonious end to the fun and hijinks of Catholic grade school. But I see there are no more cheesy horror and sci-fi flicks on Saturday mornings and afternoons. Indicating an end of innocence, if you will, the genre listing "adult" pops up frequently, where it had very rarely appeared in the older, mostly cable-free guides.

Worst of all, due to those new channels growing like kudzu, the reviews are strangled into one-line, snark-free encapsulations. The 1973 TV movie A Cold Night's Death, for example, was described objectively upon its initial showing as "Two men isolated in a snowbound  mountain lab to study the effects of altitude on apes become victims themselves of a terrifying, unknown experiment." Eleven years later, it's summarized thus: "Two men are isolated."

It was a new era alright, ushering in endless showings of bland Hollywood blockbuster crap and made-for-cable schlock, while effectively discarding anything in black-and-white or made over twenty years ago.

While I would love to compile Cashman's work completely, I am for now sticking to the much easier task of just including the funniest or most trivia-laden reviews. If one doesn't interest you, keep reading--the next may have you laughing out loud. While it may seem from this collection that he delighted mainly in eviscerating the dross of Hollywood's output, I assure you he was, foremost, a movie lover.

NEW! Before you move on to the reviews, I realized recently that it might be a good idea to show some as they appeared back in the day (in case you haven't seen my regular blog, where there are many examples). Here's the late night schedule for Saturday, January 20th, 1973...

Click HERE to go to the reviews!
or HERE for other Newsday TV Book hijinks!

REVIEWS: A-F

Abbott and Costello Meet Captain Kidd (1952) "That about says it, except that Charles Laughton is a party to the nonsense."

Across the Wide Missouri (1951) "Clark Gable blazes a trail west from St. Louis. It's a slow burn."

The Adventures of Hajji Baba (1954) "Minor fun."

The Adventure of Tortuga (1964) "Pirates and stuff and a bomb."

Agent for H.A.R.M. (1965) "Routine cloak 'n' dagger bit wherein a special agent tracks a mysterious organism from outer space that turns all it comes in contact with into lifeless fungus--including the script."

Air Raid Wardens (1943) "Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy don't exactly go to war, but it's a battle. Not vintage L & H, but it does have Edgar Kennedy."

Alaska Seas (1954) "Fishing and canning in Alaska, with Robert Ryan and Brian Keith vying for the salmon and Jan Sterling. The salmon are pretty."

All About Eve (1950) "Director Joseph Mankiewicz and a brilliant cast trace the rise of a stage-struck girl to stardom in a film for all seasons. Four Oscars, including best picture, director and supporting actor (George Sanders). Bette Davis' Margo Channing should have won her a third Oscar. She's magnificent."

Allegheny Uprising (1939) "A handful of frontiersmen in the Pennsylvania of 1761 battle a crack force of British troops. Relax, John Wayne leads them."

All Night Long (1963) "An updated, jazz-paced version of 'Othello,'  with Patrick McGoohan smoking pot and doing Iago bits. Interesting, but slow."

Aloma of the South Seas (1941) "Jon Hall is a prince come home from college to put down a native revolt on a lush Pacific isle. Dorothy Lamour is part of the indigenous lushness. 'The Hurricane' it's not, but there is one helluva volcano eruption."

Alphaville (1965) "Jean-Luc Godard on an off day. A private eye, electronic brains and a planetary visitor. Confused."

The Amazing Colossal Man (1957) "An explosion mucks up this army officer and throws off his metabolism so that he grows and grows and grows. In the bargain, he goes walnuts. Amazing isn't the word."

The Amazing Dr. G (1965) "Somebody is out to turn top government leaders into robots, which isn't a bad idea. Making the film was."

*An American Dream (1966) "Anything but. Television, the Mafia, a dead wife and a lot of talk. From a so-so novel by Norman Mailer."

American Gigolo (1980) "A glossy view of the sordid world of an L.A. male prostitute who becomes chief suspect in the kinky sex murder of a client. The characters are unsympathetic, the film all style no heart."

The Americanization of Emily (1964) "The political ethics of the military are stomped in this wartime morality story written by Paddy Chayefsky. It concerns some Navy brass maneuvers and a running love/hate affair between James Garner and Julie Andrews. Cynical, witty and wise."

Amityville II: The Possession (1982) [given a one star rating] "If you live in Amityville, delete the star."

Amorous Adventures of Moll Flanders (1965) "An attempt at a female 'Tom Jones' that doesn't quite make it because Kim Novak is no Albert Finney. Everyone else is fine, wenches, scoundrels and rakes alike. Give it a try, but be aware that it's long."

Anchors Aweigh (1945) "Two sailors (Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly) loose on leave and in search of love in Hollywood. Dumb, funny and light. Try it. Kathryn Grayson Jose Iturbi, and an animated mouse you'll all remember."

Angels Wash Their Faces (1939) "The title has nothing to do with the picture, but 'Angels with Dirty Faces' did so well the year before, Warners figured it had a hot title. So much for art."

Apache Drums (1951) "The townspeople don't like to have this gambler around except when the Mescalero Apaches are attacking. Root for the Mescaleros."

Apache Trail (1972) "When somebody steals their ceremonial pipe, the Apaches get ticked off. About ten minutes into the film, you will, too."

Apache Uprising (1966) "Rory Calhoun flutters his eyelashes a lot. So does Corinne Calvet. The Indians look stoned."

The Apple (1980) "Futuristic rock fantasy/martial arts film. A little bit of everything done badly."

The Arnelo Affair (1947) "France Gifford develops a thing for moody John Hodiak, who is obviously not worthy, but then she's married, anyway. Directed by Arch Oboler, slowly."

Assault on a Queen (1966) "Even Frank Sinatra doesn't keep it from becoming an assault on your senses."

The Atomic Brain (1964) "About a brain transplant. It was formerly titled 'Monstrosity.' And it is."

The Atomic Submarine (1959) "An underwater flying saucer is eating submarines in the Arctic, which is about as exciting as a bowl of cold gruel."

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958) "A giantess from a satellite causes her victims to grow to giant size. Better laugh it off." [Second version] "From the astral outback comes a bite that causes a woman to grow to inordinate heights in a film that plumbs new depths of dumbness."

Attack of the Mayan Mummy (1963) "Not to be confused with the attacks of the puppet people, mushroom people, crab monsters or giant leeches. Quit while you're ahead."

At the Circus (1939) [listed as "The Marx Brothers at the Circus"] "Not the best of the Marx Brothers madness, but how can you go wrong when Groucho sings 'Lydia, the Tattooed Lady.' Some romance, but mostly Groucho, Chico and Harpo."

Autumn Leaves (1956) "Joan Crawford marries Cliff Robertson and then finds out Cliff is not playing with a full deck, which allows her to appear constantly troubled. Sitthroughable."

Bachelor Flat (1962) "Dizzy and mild."

Back From the Dead (1957) "Spirit possession and other deadly stuff. Bury it."

Bad Day at Black Rock (1955) "Everybody in Black Rock (Population: 10) gets uptight when a one-armed man gets off the train. And they have reason. This man is Spencer Tracy and he's a one-man wrecking force with the tenacity of an avenging angel. The why and how is worth every minute."

Badman's Country (1958) "Wherein Pat Garrett, Wyatt Earp and Buffalo Bill team up to battle Butch Cassidy. Buy that, you'll buy anything."

The Bad Seed (1956) Bad genetics, but a good show. Patty McCormack is properly menacing in the title role as an evil little girl. Stagey in parts, especially the final bows."

The Ballad of Josie (1968) "Doris Day is about to inadvertently set off a sheepman vs. cattleman war in the old west. For viewers with high tedium thresholds."

The Bamboo Saucer (1967) "Something has dropped on Red China from outer space and Chairman Mao doesn't have a saying to explain the event. Neither does the film. A foreign-made quickie to snooze by."

The Bank Dick (1940) “Egbert Souse (W.C. Fields) is set upon by baby and beast and somehow gets to be a bank guard. It’s pure fun. Fields freaks can add a star [making four].”

The Barefoot Executive (1971) "Family fun from Walt Disney that is more family than fun. Central to the action is a chimpanzee that can pick TV ratings winners. It figures."

Bataan (1943) "Weirdly nostalgic."

Bathing Beauty (1944) "Red Skelton, a loser in love, enrolls at a girls' school. Esther Williams is the swimming teacher. What more do you need to know? Xavier Cugat and his dog and an embarrassed Basil Rathbone."

Battle at Bloody Beach (1961) "You find something else to watch."

Battle Circus (1953) "Love and gore, nothing more."

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973) "Pierre Boulle is still shaking his head in disbelief."

Battle of the Worlds (1961) “It’s a world made by the Italians, one with an intelligence of its own, and it’s on a collision course with Earth. Somehow, something gets lost in the translation. Claude Rains is hopelessly lost too.”
[later review] "A sad twilight for Claude Rains."

Beach Ball (1965) "Girls in bathing suits, rock musicians, surfing, sand and girls in bathing suits. Very healthy cast, very sick script."

Beach Party (1963) "The first and the best of the Beach pictures wherein Robert Cummings is investigating the younger set. Harvey Lembeck's Eric Von Zipper, the motorcycle freak, is the best thing in the film."

Beast From the Haunted Cave (1959) Take some gangsters, mix well with a legendary beast, throw in a blizzard to spice it up, then watch it all jell into cold pablum."

Beat Generation (1959) "A mishmash of bad lines, situations and performances sprinkled with music. Jack Kerouac would retch."

Beauty and the Beast (1947)


The Beginning of the End (1957) "[With] Peter Graves. Would you believe, a small town is mysteriously wiped out by giant grasshoppers eight feet tall? How's that for a mission impossible."

Belle le Grand (1951) "Lady gambler and her boyfriend and le stupid. Vera Hruba Ralston is not pretty."

The Bells are Ringing (1960) 'Judy Holliday is a telephone answering service operator who falls in love with Dean Martin's voice. The Broadway version was written for her and she repeats her stage role to perfection. Some nice tunes ('Just in Time,' 'The Party's Over,' etc.) and Martin is a pleasure, but it's Judy's picture. It was her last."

The Bells of St. Mary's (1945) "Smiles and tears, the works."

Be My Guest (1963) "English and noisy."

Ben (1972) "With Willard out of the way, little Ben gets his own film. Rats."

Bengal Brigade (1954) "Backed by stock footage of the frontier in Northern India, Rock Hudson and other English types fight off the fanatical nationalists bent on overthrowing colonial rule. Root for the fanatics. [With] the beautiful Arlene Dahl."

Bengazi (1955) [from a 4:15 am listing] "Go to sleep."

Berlin Correspondent (1942) "Flag waver as an early Dana Andrews (he plays the title) helps a couple of nice persons escape the Nazis. Also starring Virginia Gilmore and, of course, Martin Kosleck."

Berserk (1968) "This circus features a maniacal killer, healthy Ty Hardin, sexy Diana Dors and Joan Crawford, who at 60 plus still had great legs."

Best Foot Forward (1943) "...including a stirring version of the unforgettable ''Buckle Down Winsockie.' Youthful vigor buoys any slack."

Better a Widow (1969) "The original mafia operating on its home grounds on behalf of the peasants. It's enough to send Mario Puzo up a wall."

Beyond Mombasa (1957) "Cornel Wilde does his muscular best to save this flaccid tale."

The Big Beat (1958) "A square recording executive brings his jazzed-up son into the business and together they beat the film to death."

The Big Circus (1959) "Victor Mature is a tough circus boss (are there any other kind?) in this three-ring pastiche borrowed from Cecil B. DeMille. For indiscriminate kids of all ages. Peter Lorre plays a fat clown. Red Buttons, Vincent Price and the pretty Rhonda Fleming."

Big Jake (1971) "Richard Boone and company have made the horrible mistake of kidnaping John Wayne's grandson. Good macho fun and killing. Add a star [making three] if you see Wayne as a father figure. Also starring Maureen O'Hara, Pat Wayne (son of John), John Ethan Wayne (son of John), Chris Mitchum (son of Robert), Bobby Vinton (son of Poland)."

The Big Shot (1942) "It is not exactly would you would expect for Humphrey Bogart after 'The Maltese Falcon,' but that's Warner Bros. for you. Anyway, it's about a three-time loser and his problems. And does he have problems."

The Big Sleep (1946) "Watch for Bogart's hat-turned-up imitation of a bookworm."

Bikini Beach (1964) "Surfers, drag racing and Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. What more do you need to know?"

Billy Jack (1971) "A violent paean to non-violence that mixes Indians, free schools and might-as-right into intriguing simple-mindedness. Great movie for one-dimensional heads."

Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (1966) "From the folks who brought you 'Pancho Villa Meets Godzilla.'"

The Black Cat (1934) "The year is vintage, but the film isn't. Boris Karloff is a bad guy holed up in a Balkan retreat with some strange things in the basement. Bela Lugosi is a good guy by comparison. There are moments."

Black Like Me (1964) "It has absolutely nothing to say and says that badly."

Black Patch (1957) "Aaaarrgghh!"

Black Sunday (1961) "One day each century, Satan comes to life and mucks things up. This is one of those days."

*Blacula (1972) "Prince Mamuwalde (William Marshall) gets zapped by Count Dracula and ultimately winds up in Los Angeles. By and large, it's high camp. Worth a try--for laughs."

Blast of Silence (1961) "Professional gunman in New York City to lean on a racketeer. Title sums it up."

The Blob (1958) "An interesting monster is on the loose, but this time a bunch of teenagers, not scientists, must save the world. Not bad--if you're a teenager or interested in watching Steve McQueen learn his trade."

Blondie Knows Best (1947) "Of course she does. Dagwood blows his job again and winds up taking truth serum. Dagwood's a boob."

Blood Alley (1955) "John Wayne vs. the Chinese Commies on their home turf. He's beautiful. Treats them just like Indians."

Blood and Black Lace (1965) "A gory Italian-made mystery that confuses cheap shock with entertainment. Some of the blood and stuff will be cut and that will leave nothing."

Blood on the Arrow (1964) "If you don't think an attempt to rescue a small child from a band of Apaches can be dull, try this."

Blue Hawaii (1962) "A mixed blessing for the Hawaiian Chamber of Commerce."

The Blue Lagoon (1980) "Extraordinarily lovely to look at, appalling to listen to."

Boeing, Boeing (1965) "For some strange reason, Jerry Lewis plays it straight as an arrow in this passable tale of two airline pilots suffering from female fatigue. Tony Curtis is the comic. Anyway, Thelma Ritter is just fine. Christiane Schmidtmer is a large woman." [For the record, according to the internet: 5’6”, 126 lbs. Maybe they photographed her from below.]

Bomb at 10:10 (1967) "Never was a title more explicit."

Born Yesterday (1950) Judy Holliday is a dumb blonde getting smart, Broderick Crawford is a dumb junk dealer getting angry, and William Holden is a smart fellow getting in love. From the Garson Kanin play and a delight. Judy won an Oscar for the role, beating out Bette Davis ('All About Eve') and Gloria Swanson ('Sunset Boulevard'). Don't miss it."

The Bottom of the Bottle (1956) "A baddie."

The Bounty Killer (1965) "An easterner comes West and becomes a savage bounty hunter. A bad flick, but check those supporting players: Richard Arlen, Buster Crabbe, Johnny Mack Brown, Bob Steele, Fuzzy Knight and Bronco Billy Anderson (you read right)."

A Boy Named Charlie Brown (1969) "The movie version of the peanut gallery (Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, Schroeder, et al) and a delight, although a bit stretched out. But why quibble? You either love Peanuts or you don't."

Boy on a Dolphin (1957) "[Sophia] Loren and the Greek islands are a feast for the eyes. The story and Alan Ladd are a drag."

The Brain Eaters (1958) "There's this large metal object... oh, see for yourself if you've a mind to."

The Brain From Planet Arous (1958) "A being floats in outer space, which is the signal for everybody to float off to another channel. Strictly for the brainless."

Brainstorm (1965) "It plays." [Familiar Cashman non-endorsement]

The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1963) "Oh, wow."

The Brave One (1956) “A lovely little sleeper about a Mexican boy (Michael Ray) and his efforts to save a bull from the ring. A simple, honest story that won an Oscar for “Robert Rich,” who later turned out to be Dalton Trumbo. Stay with this one.”

Break in the Circle (1957) "The makers of this film about the smuggling of a scientist out of Germany figured that if they threw in enough kidnappings, muggings, double-crosses and gunfire it would work. But they were wrong."
[Later version] "A boat owner gets involved with a large red herring."

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957) "A classic version of men at war that is both a brilliant psychological study and a rousing adventure. It's a faultless production and not to be missed. Seven Oscars, including picture, director (David Lean), actor (Alec Guinness), and screenplay (Pierre Boulle, from his own novel)."

Brief Encounter (1946) "A gentle, believable story that makes most other love stories look trite. From a play by Noel Coward, directed by David Lean and acted to poignant perfection by Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard. Don't miss it. And don't confuse it with the much later Loren/Burton ripoff."

The Brigand of Kandahar (1966) "An officer of the Bengal Lancers (India, circa 1850) is accused of being a coward, but we know better. 'Four Feathers' comes to mind, but not for long."

Broken Arrow (1950) "Just a sensational guy, this Cochise."

The Brotherhood (1968) "As a movie, it plays. As philosophy, it stinks."

The Browning Version (1951) "The Terence Rattigan play about a stuffy professor facing some critical career and personal problems that is played to perfection by Michael Redgrave. His performance alone is worth the time. Don't miss it."

Brushfire (1962) "A cliche a minute."

The Buccaneer (1958) "A rousing version of how the pirate Jean Lafitte saved Andy Jackson's bacon at the Battle of New Orleans. Good action, virile cast and directed by Cecil B. DeMille's son-in-law, which is a nice touch since DeMille directed the Fredric March original."

Buck Benny Rides Again (1940) "Jack Benny carries a radio characterization and his radio gang (Phil Harris, Dennis Day, Rochester) into a movie that would be better heard than seen."

Buffalo Bill (1944) "The old buffalo killer and exploiter of Indians is transformed into a folk hero with a heart of gold in this epic, which is not bad if you can buy the whitewash. Directed with a flair by William Wellman."

Buffalo Bill (1966) "Gordon Scott rides the Sicilian west and finds bisons or whatever they call them over there."

A Bullet For Sandoval (1970) "A rent-money outing for Ernest Borgnine."

Bullets Don't Argue (1965) "Good and bad bank robbers, an understanding sheriff and all the excitement of cold oatmeal."

Bunny Lake is Missing (1965) "The question is, does Carol Lynley have a missing daughter or doesn't she? Laurence Olivier tries to figure it out. Keir Dullea helps at times. Meanwhile, Noel Coward steals the picture, which is not saying much."

The Burning Hills (1956) "His brother already dead, a man hides from the killers with the help of a halfbreed girl. Also needing help, but not getting it, are the director, script writer and the actors."

The Butterfly Affair (1971) "Henri 'Papillion' Charriere in his first and only screen appearance."

By the Light of the Silvery Moon (1953) Wholesome and dated family fun with Doris Day and Gordon MacRae who just happen to sing all around the house and outdoors, just like everyone else."

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919) "The classic horror film about a mad doctor and a somnambulist that can still shock after more than 50 years. It has primitive aspects, but the total impact is stunning. The film is exotic, bizarre and surrealistic, but holds together through its twist finale. Robert Wiene's film influenced the German movie industry for 20 years, and, to a lesser extent, every horror movie that came after it. Conrad Veidt, who later came to this country, and Werner Krauss are right out of a bad dream. And nary a commercial to break the spell [airing on Public TV]."

Cairo (1963) "George Sanders, Richard Johnson and that old favorite, Faten Hamama."

Calamity Jane (1953) "How Calamity won the heart of Wild Bill Hickok. You've got to wonder about those two."

California (1961) "In the fight to free California from Mexico, it is brother against half-brother. Root for the Mexicans."

California Passage (1950) "A horse opera to sleep by. [With] Vera Hruba Ralston's stand-in, Adele Mara."

Call Him Mr. Shatter (1975) "Call him anything you like."

Call Me Bwana (1963) "Bob Hope is an ersatz big game hunter. Anita Ekberg and Edie Adams are undercover agents, west and east. Throw in a missing space capsule and Arnold Palmer, and it gets strange, but not especially funny."

Call of the Wild (1935) "It's about gold, the Klondike, a dog race and other mush."

Camille 2000 (1980) "A rotten movie."

Can-Can (1960) "The Cole Porter fairy tale concerning the origination of the notorious dance in 1890's Montmartre. Good music ('I Love Paris'), great dancing, but very flat in spots. Add a star [making three] if you can believe Frank Sinatra and Shirley MacLaine."

The Candy Man (1968) "LSD and kidnaping, involving show biz and other strange persons down Mexico way. Why is George Sanders in this movie?"

Cannibal Attack (1954) "The only way this quickie could have been saved would be for the cannibals to have eaten Jungle Jim behind the title credits."

Canyon Crossroads (1955) "No Indians  or gold. This one is updated to uranium. Nice try."

The Capetown Affair (1967) "A couple of secret agents on the trail of the microfilm. Same old story, different locale."

Caprice (1967) "Cosmetics, dope, Doris Day, Richard Harris and other frivolities."

Captain Falcon (1964) "An Italian Robin Hood saves 13th Century Italy from a wicked baron... As you recall we last saw Captain Falcon hanging by his teeth from a fern at the cliff's edge. In this week's chapter..."

Captain Nemo and the Underwater City (1970) "Basic seaweed. Children might like it. Jules Verne wouldn't."

Captain Pirate (1953) "Errol Flynn couldn't have saved this one, and Louis Hayward is no Errol Flynn."

Carrie (1952) "Nice line outside the soup kitchen."

The Carpet of Horror (1962) "A series of poisonings leave the secret service baffled and the viewer bored."

Carry on Cruising (1966) "More carryings-on, this time on a cruise ship. Mindless slapstick with regional English dialects."

Casablanca (1943)

"This is it. The Humphrey Bogart legend defined. He's Rick and he owns a gambling joint, into which comes an old girlfriend (Ingrid Bergman), her underground hero husband (Paul Henreid) and other assorted characters (Peter Lorre, Sydney Greenstreet, Claude Rains, Conrad Veidt). Dooley Wilson fakes the piano (Elliot Carpenter plays it) and sings 'As Time Goes By.' Beautiful job all around. A must see. Oscars for best picture, direction and screenplay."

The Castilian (1963) "Spanish made and ragged, with an American cast picking up some fast pesetas."

Castle on the Hudson (1940) "Try it, but not for its simple-minded penology."

Cat! (1966) "In which a small boy makes friends with a wildcat just in time to give this bad adult person his lumps. Honest."

The Cat Creeps (1946) "And so does everything else in this fizzle about a murdered girl's soul now occupying a cat. Even Douglas Dumbrille can't save it."

Chain Lightning (1950) "A jet pilot sacrifices scruples and honor for money in a losing battle with a bum script. Not one of Humphrey Bogart's finer moments."

Champagne for Caesar (1950) "The early TV quiz show craze, not to be confused with the current TV quiz show craze, takes a drubbing from Ronald Coleman as a quiet genius and Vincent Price as a neurotic sponsor. Stay with it."

Change of Habit (1969) "A bad pun of a title for a moderately interesting story of three nuns who shed their habits to work in a neighborhood clinic. Elvis Presley is the young doctor in charge. Questions of taste crop up along the way, but the ending is unquestionably an embarrassment."

Charge at Feather River (1953) "Watch for things coming at the camera because this is another 3-D flick gone straight to dullsville. Cavalry and Indians this time. Vera Miles is pretty."

Charlie Chan in Paris (1935) "One of the series that is never listed anywhere because nobody could find it. Well, they found it (in Czechoslovakia, of all places) and it's one of the more entertaining of the Warner Oland entries. The movie gets two stars, with a bonus star for finding it."

Chariots of the Gods (1970) "Interesting as an internally consistent fairy tale. Unfortunately, the main thrust is that it all really happened, which is balderdash. From Erich von Daniken's book, which also took itself seriously."

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1974) "Long title for a short idea that involves a strange island and its weird fauna. A touch or two, but nothing more."

China (1943) "Alan Ladd is a profiteer working China early in WWII when his conscience gets the better of him. So he slaughters some Japanese to make amends. It has not aged well."

China Clipper (1936) "Old story, old planes. Add a star if you're into reverie."

Chisum (1970) "This is a John Wayne movie. It was directed by Andrew McLaglen, the poor man's John Ford. That's all you need to know. Add a star if John Wayne makes you feel secure."

A Christmas Carol (1951) "The film, as the story, carries its own benedictions. Happy Christmas to all."

The Cincinnati Kid (1965) "Steve McQueen goes against Edward G. Robinson and the fates in this arty pasteboard drama that culminates in a nail-biting game of 5-card stud that any poker devotee will tell you couldn't happen. Some nice bits and pieces, but essentially pretentious and heavy-handed. Still, it's worth a try, especially if you're into poker."

Circus World (1964) "If you've seen one circus film, you've seen them all. This one ends with a fire. If you've seen one circus fire, you've seen them all."

City for Conquest (1940) "A boxer sacrifices everything for his kid brother (a fine performance by newcomer Arthur Kennedy) even his eyesight in one fight too many. Look for director Elia Kazan in a minor role."

*Cleopatra (1963) "The best and the worst that can be said about this celebrated expenditure of money, time, effort and talent is that it is dull. And, despite what you've heard, it's Rex Harrison's picture, if he wants it. Elizabeth Taylor is beautiful. Richard Burton too often acts like a man who can't find the men's room. The pomp and circumstance is there, but for the other two hours it drags."

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Special Edition (1980) "This revised version of the 1977 UFO flick deserves an extra half-star [it was given three], because it works better than the original."

Cobra Woman (1943) "Maria Montez and good ole Sabu save the day."

The Cocoanuts (1929)

 

Code Name: Jaguar (1968) "Russian TV spy cameras are turned on U.S. Naval operations off the Spanish coast and super-spy Jaguar (Ray Danton) attempts to turn the TV sets off. If you're wise you'll do the same."

Code of Scotland Yard (1948) "An antique dealer formerly spent some time on Devil's Island, from whence he escaped. British and slow."

Code 7, Victim 5 (1964) "In this one, the butler didn't do it, he got it done to him. How about that, mystery fans?"

The College Girl Murders (1968) "Stiffs galore, including the film. Joachim Fuchsberger, Uschi Glass and other old favorites."

The Colossus of New York (1958) "A brain surgeon transplants his dead scientist son's brain into the head of a nine-foot 480 pound automaton. Brainless."
[Alternate] "A scientist's brain is transplanted into a 9-foot mechanical contrivance that begins stomping persons and other living things. And you thought you had troubles."

The Colosseus of Rhodes (1954) "It's 300 B.C. and the Phoenicians are coming. Nothing."

Column South (1957) "The titles change but the story of the Union officers and the Indians never does."

The Concorde... Airport '79 (1979) "On the scale by which summer fluff is measured, say 10 for 'Moonraker' and 7 for 'Alien,' this is about a 4. It'll never fly."

Confessions of a Nazi Spy (1939) "[with] a quick early look at Jackie Gleason."

The Conspirator (1950) "Elizabeth Taylor, in her first adults role, marries Robert Taylor (no relation), who, under that stiff upper lip, is actually a Commie, which made for high drama in those days. Given that, it's not bad."

Coogan's Bluff (1968) "Only director Don Siegel could get anything out of Clint Eastwood as an Arizona deputy sheriff loose in New York City. Crisp and medium hard, with a nifty motorcycle chase in Central Park. Lee J. Cobb and Don Stroud handle the acting."

The Cool Ones (1967) "[With] that professional audience person, Mrs. Miller."

Corruption (1969) "Peter Cushing is a plastic surgeon this time, but he's as weird as ever. He develops a new technique for treating scars, which, of course, requires bodies. Of course."

Corvette K-225 (1943) "On convoy duty in WWII. Add a star if actual war footage turns you on."

The Cossacks (1960) "From the court of the Tsar to the Steppes of the Crimea, the wild Cossacks ride in their spiffy uniforms, swords heavily slicing the baloney by the pound. For action freaks."

Countess Dracula (1972) " The Countess not only drinks blood, she bathes in it. It flows along."

Crash Landing (1958) "That's what it is. The pilot should have ditched this flick along with the plane."

The Crawling Hand (1963) "The severed hand of an astronaut has this unbelievable power to muck up earth persons. One suspects it writes scripts on the side."

Crazy Joe (1974) "Another portrait of a bent-pin hoodlum for which there is believed to be great fascination among us straights. Not this one, even with Peter Boyle. Also starring... a little guy named Henry Winkler."

Creation of the Humanoids (1962) "Atom blast creates war for survival between humans and robots called 'clickers,' who become humanistic through transfusions. Nothing much clicks in this clinker."

Creature From the Haunted Sea (1961) "A mobster creates a fake monster, then what should happen but there appears a real monster. Laugh along with the mobster, the mobster's monster and the monster monster."

Creatures of Destruction (1968) "A hypnotist seems to have mystic powers. There is no doubt that he can put you to sleep."

Criss Cross (1948) "An armored car robbery leads to a double double cross. Burt Lancaster is strong and silent, which leaves the acting to Dan Duryea. Yvonne DeCarlo is passionate."

Cry of the Banshee (1970) "Vincent Price mixes it with a coven of witches. Let the gore drip where it may."

The Curse of Bigfoot (1972) "He's big, but not good."

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) "The Baron is doing his needlepoint again and dropping the same stitches, which allows Christopher Lee to run amuck."

Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964) "Another in the series of Hammer Film's English updates of early American horror films in which a touring mummy gets out of hand. All that's missing are Dick Foran and George Zucco. The added color helps."

Curse of Nostradamus (1960) "Bet you didn't know Nostradamus was a vampire. That's what it says here, badly."

Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966) "A mad doctor is out to cross a man with a lizard. It is to laugh."

Curse of the Undead (1956) "Vampires go west in this attempt at a horror western. It is successful in that it is horrible."

Curse of the Voodoo (1965) "A white hunter on safari in deepest Africa wanders into the dreaded Simbazza territory and gets zapped by a witch doctor with you know what. He was asking for it."

Curucu, Beast of the Amazon (1956) "Something is killing the natives. It is rumored they died laughing."

The Daring Dobermans (1974) "Sequel to 'The Doberman Gang' and a dog."

The Dark Angel (1935) "Merle Oberon loves both Herbert Marshall and Fredric March, who both love her. WWI arrives to further complicate things. Top grade soap."

Dark City (1950) "Routine melodrama about a gambler, his lady and other problems. Notable as Charlton Heston's first Hollywood film."

Dark of the Sun (1968) "Rod Taylor and other mercenaries are in the Congo doing an old western plot with the lines changed to make it seem current. Paid gunfighters seem less heroic without sagebrush."

Daughter of Dr. Jekyll (1957) "Tainted bloody bore."

Day of the Triffids (1963) "A kind of Euell Gibbons nightmare..."

Deadline U.S.A. (1952) "Overdone and melodramatic, but fairly good city room action." [Cashman liked to comment on the accuracy of newspaper-related storylines.]

Dead Man's Eyes (1944) "Lon Chaney Jr. struggles with the load."

Death Curse of Tartu (1966) "From out of the Aztec ruins comes the legendary Gor. Is it animal or is it human? Or is it both? With any luck at all, you will never know. Edge-of-the-chair suspense in this #$%*& tale..."

The Death of Her Innocence (1974) "The 50's again and how it will never be the same, especially after the boys and girls get together. The 50's are getting to be a drag."

Death Race 2000 (1975) "Strictly for popsicle suckers."

Death Valley (1982) "Sunbelt psycho stalks Manhattan moppet of separated parents---'Kramer vs. Creeper.'"

Dementia 13 (1963) "Another Roger Corman bucket of dismembered parts in and around an Irish castle. Blood and gore fans might be amused."

The Demon Planet (1965) "Strange happenings on the planet Aura that must be placed high on your must miss list."

Desert Detour (1958) "Death duel in the desert, under the sun. The hot sun. The hot, hot sun."

Desert Legion (1953) "Alan Ladd is a French Legionnaire. Richard Conte is a bad sheik. If you can buy that casting, watch it. Akim Tamiroff supplies the acting. Arlene Dahl is pretty."

The Desperados (1969) "The Galt boys are crazy in one way or another. Dad is a madman and Mom is a ghost. Everybody gets it in the end. A mean film of tragic revenge for mental health researchers."

Destination Fury (1963) "It's silly, it's dubbed and stars somebody named Dorian Grey. That's three strikes in any league."

Destroyer (1943) "Edward G. Robinson is an old salt. Glenn Ford is a new salt. Marguerite Chapman is the old salt's daughter, who is in love with the new salt. It's salty."

Destry Rides Again (1939) "Something of a classic based on the Max Brand novel about laconic Tom Destry (James Stewart) who never uses a gun to tame a town. Most of the action is supplied by Marlene Dietrich. She has a knock-down, drag-out battle with another woman and she sings 'See What the Boys in the Back Room Will Have.' That's action. Stay with it."

Detective Story (1951) "Twenty-four hours in the life of a New York City detective squad room and the felons and the cops therein has lost a lot of its punch, but it's still the champion of the genre. Directed by William Wyler from the Sidney Kingsley play. It's tough, real and rational. Good performances all around with two brilliant turns by Lee Grant and Joseph Wiseman. Don't miss it."

The Devil's Rain (1975) "Concerns a group of devil worshipers (Ernest Borgnine plays the head devil's disciple) somewhere in the Southwest who have traded their souls for wax bodies and tar-filled eye sockets, which melt and gurgle at the slightest provocation. The best that can be said is that it is not quite the worst movie ever made."

Diary of a Madman (1963) "Good for demon freaks and other weirdos."

Did You Hear the One About the Traveling Saleslady? (1968) "If they mean this one, anybody who hasn't, shouldn't. Phyllis Diller plays the title role."

Dirty Larry, Crazy Mary (1974) "It will leave you numb with disbelief."

The Disembodied (1957) "Sub-par voodoo as practiced by a beautiful white witch off in a jungle somewhere. About as interesting as reading chicken innards."

Disorder (1964) "It is that. An attempt to weave in several tales of a servant with problems that doesn't seem to make sense, rhyme or reason."

Doctor's Wives (1971) "A great cast in a deplorable film about the mix and match among five doctors and their wives, spiced by operating room blood and gore, frigidity, lesbianism and some of the worst dialogue ever spoken on the screen or anywhere else. Great flick for an AMA convention."

Doctor X (1932) "It's been done a hundred times and this early effort is the equal of the other 99. Just try to ignore the then-standard 'comic relief.'"

Doctor, You've Got to Be Kidding! (1967) "The doctor and everybody else in this excruciatingly cutesy tale of a young secretary who is after a career in the old show biz. A healthy cast is swamped by the blandness. Sandra Dee, George Hamilton (complete with lighthouse teeth)."

Dodge City (1939) "Cattlemen, the railroad, a frontier town and Errol Flynn. A big western for its day, but getting smaller with each passing year."

*Donovan's Brain (1953) "The best of the various versions of the brain in the tank getting out of hand. Stay with it."

Donovan's Reef (1963) "Another in a long list of John Ford/John Wayne outings, this time substituting the South Pacific for the prairie. As always, robust fun. Add a star if you're into macho breast beating. Lee Marvin, Elizabeth Allen and the island staple, Dorothy Lamour."

Don't Forget to Wipe the Blood Off (1966) "Remember to miss it."

Don't Knock the Twist (1966) "Just forget it."

Don't Make Waves (1967) "Well-built boys and girls, including Claudia Cardinale and Sharon Tate, and Tony Curtis trying to arrange bed and board. Tight and sitthroughable."

Doomwatch (1972) "...one of the last outings for George Sanders."

Double Trouble (1967) "Only Colonel Parker could sit through this."

Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1969) "Christopher Lee is properly creepy as Transylvania's leading citizen, but Bela he's not."

Dr. Blood's Coffin (1961) "Can a weird scientist be far behind? No, he can't."

Dr. Cyclops (1940) "Albert Dekker is a myopic doctor in the wilds of Peru who has learned how to shrink humans to doll size for science and fun. Fondly remembered by the over-40 crowd."

Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1972) "A bit much, but good for a few laughs."

Dr. Who and the Daleks (1966) "A paste-up of a BBC-TV serial that has something of a camp following. If you don't know from Daleks and Thals, forget it."

Drums (1938) "The English film's title was 'The Drum,' which makes sense. In this country, they changed it to 'Drums,' which doesn't."

Duffy's Tavern (1945) "This is a really dumb picture about the old radio show cast trying to save the tavern, but it's interesting for the guest shots by Paramount's big guns at the time, from Alan Ladd and Veronica Lake to Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour. For buffs and nostalgia addicts only."

The Eagle Has Landed (1977) "...an overstuffed and under-cooked turkey."

Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956) "Buy the premise, buy the flick." [A favorite Cashman caveat]

East of the River (1940) "John Garfield plays the hoodlum, very well indeed."

Elephant Walk (1954) "Elizabeth Taylor stars, but that's Vivien Leigh in some of the long shots before she got sick and had to be replaced."

The Elusive Corporal (1962) "Still another escape from a German POW camp. This one is more camp than escape."

Elvis--That's the Way it Is (1970) "Presley, who else, offstage and on as he brings his hips and other talents to Las Vegas. Add a star if you're into long promos."

Embryo (1976) "The movie is so bad it hurts."

Emergency Squad (1940) "If you can picture Brenda Starr working with Dick Tracy to knock off a crime syndicate, you win your black orchid for watching this one."

Enter the Devil (1971) "Hail, Satan---and let you-know-who take the hindmost."

Equinox (1969) "An archeologist is missing and up jumps the devil. In California, of course."

The Evil of Frankenstein (1964) "It limps along."

Face of Marble (1946) "A mad doctor tries to bring the dead back to life. Would that the director could have performed the same miracle."

Fair Wind to Java (1952) "Vera Hruba Ralston is not pretty." [Mentioned in every review of a movie with her]

Fall of the Roman Empire (1964) "This inept spectacle led to the fall of the movie empire of producer Samuel Bronston."

The Fallen Sparrow (1943) "The limping man is up to no good."

The Family (1973) "It's pure lasagna."

Fangs of the Living Dead (1969) "You watch something with a title like this, you get what you deserve."

The Far Horizons (1955) "Fred MacMurray and Charlton Heston snap jaw muscles at each other in this very loose Hollywood version of the Lewis-Clark Expedition. Bad history aside, it plays."

Fathom (1967) “Basically, it’s a tongue-in-cheek heist, but it’s mostly Raquel Welch skiing and sky diving. Clive Revill as an eccentric millionaire steals the show, which ain’t easy.”

The Fat Man (1951) "Fatty J. Scott Smart recreates his role in the old radio series to find out why a dentist was murdered. An early Rock Hudson wanders through. Lightweight except for Smart."

[alternate version] "The corpulent detective of the title and radio fame plods across the screen to ill advantage. The trail leads him both to the circus and to murder. Less exposition and more action would have helped. [With] the famed circus clown Emmett Kelly."

Fellini's Casanova (1977) "A sexual odyssey of the 18th Century male courtesan. We aren't meant to like the hero, and we don't. The film becomes an overripe, anti-erotic spectacle of the grotesque mutual exploitation of men and women. Donald Sutherland is a bizarrely androgynous dandy. Episodic, slow and disappointing."

Female on the Beach (1955) "Joan Crawford square shoulders her way through another offshoot of 'Suspicion,' while Jeff Chandler square-jaws around acting strange."

Fiend Without a Face (1958) "Deadly brain monsters start a reign of terror near a U.S. Air Force radar station in Canada. Brainless."

Fighter Attack (1953) "Flashbacks to WW II and who cares."

The Fighting 69th (1940) "The story of New York's contribution to the WW I effort, including the legendary Father Duffy (Pat O'Brien, of course), Wild Bill Donovan (George Brent) and Joyce Kilmer (Jeffrey Lynn). Throw in James Cagney as an eight-ball turned hero and you've got glorious corn like they don't can anymore. Stay with it."

The Firefly (1937) "...the answer to the trivia question about where and when Allan Jones first sang 'Donkey Serenade.'"

A Fistful of Dollars (1966) "Clop-clop, grunt-grunt, boom-boom."

Five Golden Dragons (1968) "A drug cartel run by five masked men is broken up by a reporter who lucks into the story while in Hong Kong. Ah, those movie reporters."

Five Graves to Cairo (1942) "An early Billy Wilder effort set in a desert hotel run by Akim Tamiroff, to which comes a British soldier in mufti and Field Marshall Rommel in full uniform. Very nicely done, especially when [Erich] Von Stroheim is on camera. Stay with it."

*Flaming Star (1960) "Elvis Presley goes straight dramatic as a halfbreed with cultural problems. Worth a try, if you're interested. Directed by Don Siegel and featuring the always lovely Delores Del Rio."

Flight to Tangiers (1953) "Routine chase, except that Jack Palance seems out of breath before it starts."

Follow That Dream (1962) "A family squats on some unclaimed Florida land, which supplies five song cues for Elvis Presley and some inane down-home dialogue."

Footsteps in the Fog (1955) "A widowed murderer and a blackmailing Cockney maid square off in Victorian England and almost talk each other to death."

For a Few Dollars More (1967) "Bounty hunter Clint Eastwood, complete with poncho, cigar and lockjaw, stoically shoots his way through assorted living things and a pepperoni pizza to go. The body count includes everybody who survived 'A Fistful of Dollars.'"

The Foreman Went to France (1941) "And so he does, to keep a certain secret piece of equipment from falling into Nazi hands. Early WWII and British."

The Forest Rangers (1942) " Give it a yawn and a half."

Fort Apache (1948) "The character Henry Fonda plays may be called Col. Owen Thursday, but it won't be long before you get the idea who he really is. The character John Wayne plays is John Wayne. It's another John Ford epic of the West and it's a good one. Stay with it."

Four Guns to the Border (1945) "An ex-gunslinger going straight, a band of outlaws, the ex-gunslinger's daughter, a bank robbery, an indian attack, assorted gunplay, and a mild morality lesson to round things off. In other words, another routine western."

Frankenstein (1931) "It's about this baron who builds things."

Frankenstein 1970 (1958) "To the late baron's castle comes a TV crew to shoot a horror show. Nobody could make this work, not even Boris Karloff, who, sad to say, is in there trying."

Frankenstein Conquers the World (1966) "Nick Adams is spliced into a Japanese quickie and you won't notice because with any luck you won't be watching."

Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) "The Baron gets blamed for everything. Wait for The Bride of Frankenstein for the real story."

Frankenstein's Bloody Terror (1971) "And a bloody bore to boot."

Frankenstein's Daughter (1959) "Suffice to say that she's a monster."

Frankie and Johnny (1966) "[With] Elvis Presley. Watch him wiggle on a Mississippi riverboat."

The French Line (1954) "Shot in 3-D, which means you should watch for things coming at the camera--if you watch it at all."

Frogs (1972) "A marginal update of the old invitation-to-the-strange-island plot that involves things ecological. Included are some resentful crickets, reactionary snakes and, of course, assorted croaking."

From Istanbul, Orders to Kill (1965) "The old look-a-like-taking-place-of-gangster gambit. The orders to kill should have included the film."

Fun in Acapulco (1963) "For Elvis Presley, perhaps, but it's not contagious. Romance, songs, sand, surf, sun and about 14 blinding sets of capped teeth."

Fun with Dick and Jane (1977) "See Dick lose his job. See Jane worry. See Dick and Jane turn to crime. The crime is fun. Dick and Jane are screwballs. George Segal is Dick. Jane Fonda is Jane. Ed McMahon is Charlie. See Charlie drink."


The Fury of the Wolfman (1973) "On bringing out the beast in man, which, in this case, is a drag."

Fuzz (1972) "A  bunch of fun Boston cops blunder around solving several concurrent crimes despite themselves. The lines are more Las Vegas than Boston and the plot is basic bananas. Burt Reynolds and Jack Weston have some funny lines, but not many. Raquel Welch and Yul Brynner don't have any funny lines."